


Cum to Death or Why Spike Isn't Allowed to Pick Movies Anymore

by maryperk



Category: Angel The Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Halloween, Made up porno movie, Other, Threesome - F/F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-08
Updated: 2014-12-08
Packaged: 2018-02-28 14:13:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2735594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maryperk/pseuds/maryperk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to Just the Foreplay.  Spike, Buffy, and Fred spend Halloween watching a movie</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cum to Death or Why Spike Isn't Allowed to Pick Movies Anymore

One shot

Buffy strolled through the quiet cemetery. Unlike Sunnydale, her new hometown really was dead on Halloween. Both the supernatural and human elements of Restfield were quieter than Sunnydale's. Buffy let out a bored sigh. She just wanted to get home to her boyfriend and girlfriend.

The three of them promised each other a night of movies, popcorn, and candy as celebration for their move from Los Angeles to the small northern California town. Spike had chortled with glee when Buffy showed Fred and him the name of the town.

"It's really dead out here," Buffy muttered. "I should just go back to the house." With that, she made up her mind to go home for the night.

Buffy made her way through the quiet streets. The trick-or- treaters were off the streets, and most of the party goers were otherwise occupied. She stepped into the foyer of the house she shared with Spike and Fred.

"Hey guys," Buffy called out. She took off her jacket, and she hung in on the coat rack. "Patrol was a complete bust. This is so different from Sunnydale. I think I like it."

Fred popped out of the living room. "Buffy, you're back." She gave the Slayer a little wave. "We're about to start a movie. You want to help me get the candy popcorn."

"Sure thing." Buffy followed Fred into the kitchen. "So, did you pick the movies or did Spike?"

Fred hid a grimace. She hadn't realized how bad Spike's taste in movies was before she'd seen his selections. She was pretty sure 'Grave Encounter' and 'Cum to Death' were not mainstream movie titles. "Sorry, I thought you were exaggerating about Spike's horrid taste in movies."

"I heard that, pet," Spike called out from the living room. "So, you don't think Muffy Diver will winning one of those fancy Hollywood awards this year?"

"Not with a name like that," Buffy yelled back.

"Where as the name Buffy it that touch of classic elegance, luv?" Spike stepped into the kitchen with a huge smirk on his face.

Buffy mock glared at Spike. "What's wrong with Buffy?"

"It's a terrible name."

Buffy gasped in horror, and she put a hand over her heart. "My mother gave me that name."

Fred rolled her eyes at her lovers' antics. "Come on, guys. Let's just go watch the movies. How about I promise to never let Spike loose in the video store again?" She grabbed their treat with one hand, and Buffy's hand with the other. She knew Spike would follow them.

The three lovers settled on the couch with Fred in the middle with the candy popcorn. Buffy hit the start button.

"Cum to Death? Really, Spike?" Buffy snickered as the tacky theme music started.

"Shhh, Slayer," Spike shushed. His eyes were glued to the screen.

On the screen, two women stood outside a creepy, fake looking gravy yard discussing meeting their boyfriends.

_"I don't know, Candi," the blond said in an squeaky voice. "It's a cemetery." She lowered her tone of voice. "What if there is a ghost or something?"_

_"Fucking in a graveyard is on my bucket list, Barbie. Now let's go." Candi grabbed her friend's arm. "Tom and Dick are waiting for us."_

Buffy wrinkled her nose. "So, horror or porno here?"

"Both," Spike chortled. "Oh look, luv. They're getting ready to go in the gates and do a striptease.."

_"I can feel eyes on me," Barbie said. She looked around at the shadows._

_"It's just Tom and Dick. Quit worrying." Candi rolled her eyes. "Let's give them a show." She pulled off her top, and her boobs bounced buoyantly._

"You've seen this one before," Fred accused Spike. 

Spike shrugged. "It wasn't my movie. It was boring, all tied up in Harris' basement. I had to entertain myself somehow." He made a rude hand gesture directed at his crotch.

"Pig," Buffy muttered.

"Sure," Fred replied with skepticism. She turned back to the movie where the woman had somehow found some music, and they were taking their clothes off in a manner that could be loosely called sexy. 

_The screen flashed to two dead young men with pale skin and obvious Hollywood vampire bites on their necks. The camera panned to an ugly man in terrible make up, a cheesy Dracula costume, and fake vampire teeth. He widened his eyes in a dramatic fashion._

_"I vant you nekid."_

"Really?" Fred asked.

Buffy jammed some candy and popcorn in her mouth to stifle her comments.

Fred glanced at Buffy. "You okay, sweetie?"

Buffy nodded while she continued to chomp on her snack. There was no way she was going to say anything about the fake vampire on the television.

"Wow, look at the tits on that bint," Spike exclaimed. He squinted his eyes. "Are those fake?"

"Spike," Fred hissed. She smacked Spike's arm. She was regretting letting him pick out the movies. She would have been perfectly happy with The Addams Family and Hocus Pocus.

Buffy reached around Fred to smack Spike in the same exact spot.

Only harder.

With Slayer strength.

"Ow, careful with the love taps there, pet," Spike said while rubbing his arm. "I was just appreciatin' the view." He leered at Fred and Buffy. "Later, I'll be appreciatin' something a bit more personal."

"Your blow up toy from under the bed, maybe," Buffy hissed.

_On the screen, Barbie and Candi performed their dual striptease. They were both down to just the panties. The women fell into each other's arms, kissing noisily while pulling their companion's panties down._

_The silly looking vampire stepped out from his hiding place, and he dramatically waved one arm in the air. "Come vith me," he intoned. "I vant to you both." He widened his eyes again, and he wiggled his fingers at Barbie and Candi._

_Barbie and Candi woodenly turned towards the newcomer. "Yes, master," they droned. They shuffled towards the vampire who guided them into a nearby crypt._

"Huh, wonder what's gonna happen next?" Buffy said. "We've already had a striptease in the graveyard. Hey, Fred, you got any chocolate? This candy corn popcorn is okay and all, but I think I need some fortification for this next part."

Fred shook her head. "Spike ate it all earlier, while we were waiting for you."

"Well, that explains the movie choices," Buffy laughed. "Well, look at that. At least his dick is a monster."

Fred turned back to the screen. "Wow, that is a doozy."

"Do you mind?" Spike grumbled. "I'm trying to watch this."

"You were talking about the ginormous boobies. We're allowed to talk about the monster dick," Buffy protested.

_On screen, the fake vampire had Barbie and Candi bent over a sarcophagus, and he alternated plunging into their pussies. The camera went in for a close up of the thrusting cock._

_"Oh, Oh, Harrrry," the girl screamed. "Fuck my sloppy wet cunt."_

"His name is Harry? Really?" Buffy shook her head. "Boy, those girls will just let any Tom, Dick, or Harry get in their pants. I'm sorry, guys. I can't watch any more of this movie. It's so stupid."

Spike snorted. "It's porno, pet. It's supposed to be stupid."

Buffy reached over to grab Fred's hand. "Well, Spike, Fred and I are going to bed. You just stay here and watch your stupid porno."

With that, Buffy pulled Fred to her feet, and she dragged the taller woman out of the room and up the stairs towards the bedroom.

"But ..." Spike pointed towards the television screen. "It gets better, I promise, Slayer."

Buffy's voice floated back to Spike's ears. "Don't worry, Spike. I can take care of Fred by myself. You just enjoy yourself with Barbie and Candi."

Spike watched the movie for a few moments before he looked towards the living room door. "Oh bloody hell. Sorry, Barbie. Sorry, Candi. You've drawn the short end of the stick." He turned off the television, and he tossed the remote aside. 

"Hold on, don't start without me!" Spike shouted while he dashed up the stairs, stripping off his clothes as he went.

The End


End file.
